Today, I formally agreed to be part of a pilot for my treatment programme. This meant I had to sign to say I understood various things, the penultimate point related to (ssshhh) sexual relations during my treatment.
Doctor: Are you having [whispers] sexual intercourse at the moment?
Doctor: Okay, well this should be fine then.
It’s just about if you are having [whispers] sexual intercourse [normal volume] and [whispers] contraception.
Me: oh okay, but I thought you said that fertility would be reduced by the treatment?
Doctor: I did. It would just be dangerous to get pregnant at this time….
Me: [wishful thinking] …Okay…. let’s just say hypothetically, I was going to have sex in the next four months…. What do I need to do about contraception?
Doctor: If you do think about having [whispers] sexual intercourse [normal volume] then you would need to speak to the medial team before you have [whispers] sexual intercourse.
Me: What, you mean in advance? [thinks, passion killer]
Anyhow, that was probably just an uncomfortable conversation for the Doctor. I am likely to be bald. I am
going to be on steroids. Oh, and I have [whispers] cancer.