Today was a long day at the Centre. I was supposed to pop in for about half an hour for my injection – I actual wore some suitable attire today for the stomach injection, I thought it would be best to save that exposure opportunity for the time when I have lost another few centimetres off my thighs – it was not a half an hour trip, I was there for gone three, but my was it productive.
For those of you who have met me for more than, let’s say 5 minutes, you’ll know that I like a chat. And my gosh, do I use my Centre time for a chat. I chatted a lot today.
It started at 10:30hrs. I needed some water for my steroids so I popped into Macmillan Support. What followed was a valuable discussion about support for people in their 20s and 30s who are suffering from cancer. The team said that after they had met and spoken to me the previous week, it prompted a discussion about the lack of provision for my age range and that the counsellor was keen to speak to me and read my blog. Apparently, I am upbeat. Tinkled pink with this, and some throwaway comment about my extraordinary appearance, I delivered a soliloquy about the potential for my blog to inspire others and educate people about the plight of young cancer patients. Clearly I am modest and now apparently an expert, having been diagnosed for all of three weeks. I want to appear on This Morning. Really.
Buoyant, I headed upstairs for the drugs. Once again, two people, forced themselves to tell me how nice I looked. I blushed. It is was nice. Crucially, I discovered today that I lied to you yesterday…. Whilst I was in a lot of pain yesterday and I continue to be lethargic, my immune system is not low. In fact, the nurse proudly told me today that it was ‘normal’. I AM NORMAL. Do you know what else was normal? Do you? Only my bloody white blood cell count. I do not know yet what this means, but I know this is good. I know it is good because of the size of my nurse’s grin when she told me and I know it is good because she told two other nurses as they walked past my big red chair. Apparently, at this stage of my cycle, according to my chemo nurses, this is rare and according to my friends who know about white blood cells this is frickin’ awesome. As a result of this, I had abnormally high blood pressure, which they attributed to my excitement. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I am still sick and the road ahead is long. Plus, I discovered that I do not have the lung capacity to sing the chorus of Don McLean’s American Pie anymore. That’ll return. I promise.
For today at least, I feel like my positivity, is impacting on my health and my body. Sure, I am still living in fear that this is the ‘steroid euphoria’ talking, but my logic tells me that because I am aware of this, maybe it does not have the feared hold on my emotions. Something has also upset me today, so that too, strangely, I find encouraging because I can still feel that emotion, albeit a bad one. Steroid Euphoria, I hear you mutter.
Did I mention that I also had a complimentary aromatherapy treatment today? Just because I could. All hail MacMillan! Give them your money.