I discovered today that I have been labouring under a misapprehension. Myeloma UK’s guidance was correct. I should not have doubted it.
Since I was diagnosed, I have believed that my weakened bones would be fixed after the first few cycles of my treatment. My consultant told me today that this is not the case. I misunderstood the Doctor’s meaning when he said back on The Penthouse that I would notice an improvement in my mobility after a few treatment cycles to mean that the lesions would start to mend and those lesions, which have weakened my skeleton would disappear as my treatment progressed. I learnt today that this is not the case. What will happen is an improvement in the pain. What will happen, all being well, is that the disease will not spread further and that no more lesions will appear. What will not happen under my trial, is that the existing lesions in my skeleton, localised to my back and spine, will heal, at least not yet.
Time wise, it is likely to take 1-2 years for my brittle bones to become strong again, and that may only be after further treatments. The operation three weeks ago, was one such procedure. Knowing what I know now, thank the gods they went ahead with it and I am now walking around with a slab of concrete in my back. There are somethings to be thankful for. This extended healing process means no snowboarding, which is unfortunate, because I have been fanaticising about doing an awesome 360 on a half pike for quite while now. That is going to have to be a pipe dream. I probably can’t even go on Nemesis. Maybe I can just have a nice bit of slicey and imagine I am on a theme park ride.
In the meantime, I hope and believe that despite what is happening under my skin, the pain is going to improve within the next two cycles. The Doctor said today that he thinks in this time, I will be able to rely less on the stick. Take less drugs. I should be able to bend over. Hell, I may even be able to lie flat. Flat! In time, I plan to deceive you all, walk tall, bend over and thrust my hips. It just means that unlike Shakira, my hips will lie.
It is not all doom and gloom, I promise, in the last three days, I have already seen a noticeable difference in my mobility. Tomorrow I even intend to walk, escorted of course, to Sainsbury’s.
I just wish I had not got this one wrong. I had thought that once the mobility and skeleton was sorted, all my attention could be focused on the cancer treatment. Now I have to focus on both things. Why is this disease so multifaceted? Why are the goalposts constantly changing?
Must not be defeated.
Trying to see the positive… Hello Freedom Pass. Hello.