Bloody, bloody, vanity.
In the last few days I have started to panic about losing my hair. The panic has come from nowhere. I really do not want it to leave me. I am a young, single woman and going bald is just not fair. I want to stomp my feet and scream about this injustice from the rooftops.
Maybe it is because I have a good cut at the moment. Maybe it is because it looks so good and people keep complementing me. Maybe it is because I can hide behind it when I am feeling anxious. Maybe it’s because I love a top knot. Maybe it is because I have always had it…. I just don’t want it to leave me. I don’t want to be uglier.
Regular readers will know I have a plan for my potential hair loss and that plan is to not let this side effect defeat me. If I have total hair loss, I plan to rock a variety of wigs, or no wig with some awesome Pat Butcher-esque earrings. I live in East London and I plan to play up to this fact.
I know if the time comes, I will not let it defeat me. I cannot and I will not. Plus I know that there is a posse of people out there ready to give me some top notch advice. I also know through my sheer modesty, that I have some style and my new mantra is that I will not let MM define me. I would get this put on a T-shirt, but the branding might actually defeat the purpose of the message.
I actually find the initial stages the least scary part. It’s the year or years it is going to take to grow back, and then if it grows back, what if the MM comes back and I have to lose it all over again and then have wait to grow it back again? And then what if the MM comes back again and I have to lose it all over again and then wait for it to grow back again? Has anybody seen the size of my head? I cannot pull off a pixie cut. I am not going to live in East London forever. Eccentric wigs are not a long term solution. Mind you, I have seen ‘What’s Love Got To Do With It?’ and I don’t remember people primarily identifying Tina Turner by her baldness or her wigs.
Just let me keep the eyebrows. I used to hate those oriental sparsely populate things, but now I think they are the best friends a girl could have. After actual friends obviously.
I do not want to do this. I don’t want it to happen.
Maybe Big Sister is right. Maybe us Jones’ have so much unwanted hair, that the hair on my head will be so stubborn that it will only thin. It is only fair that there remains some hair on my head to keep the hair on my face and legs company. Let us hope that it thins evenly under the massive mop of hair I have. Maybe. Just maybe. I swear, I am leaving hair all over the place and I am not even supposed to see any signs for at least 12 weeks. There is a chance I am imaging this. I do have a lot of hair and my best friend once told me that my permanent hair moulting was the thing she missed least about living with me… the doctors cannot give me a definitive answer. One says it will stay, another says it will go and another does not know. The next few months are going to be a hair lottery.
It is however, a means to an end. A means to an end. If having a crew cut for a bit means that I get to live my life, then it is a small price to pay. I am finally going to sort out my Burberry Mac and work the fat Audrey Hepburn look. If only I was shorter.
In the meantime, I will be blogging pictures of my hair and my face with my hair, just so we can remember, if the time comes, how I had it good for a while.
And cue, self pity attack, over.