As you can imagine, or indeed, if you are a regular reader of this blog, I am somewhat preoccupied with my diminishing locks at the moment.
Wednesday was horrific, I wrote all about it, but today, I have tried, and I believe succeeded, to some extent, to see the current situation in a more positive light. Yes, I am losing my hair, but let us not forget, I am still undergoing treatment against My Myeloma. And said treatment, may just be working. I bloody hope it is. I cannot lose sight of my target. My one and only target.
My blood count came back today as normal. When I say normal, in the words of Haemo Dad, my Full Blood Count was “normal for a normal person, not a person with cancer”. Even my bloody calcium, the pre diagnosis indicator, the thing that got me admitted to UCH in the first place, was normal, but then, that has been normal since I was released from my cell four weeks ago. I am trying not get ahead of myself, I can’t. I know that my paraprotein is the important thing and I have no idea what he is doing right now, but a normal person’s blood results? Well, I think I can live with that. My fingers are crossed that this sort of thing will continue, especially next week as we move once again into the potential ‘immune system crash territory’. No snogging post next Thursday. Damn. Actually, perhaps I could just check for inflection first. It’s only fair others get to play with my thermometer as well…
But, really, let’s get back to my hair….
Yesterday, I paid thanks to the onsite Macmillan Support Team, and after 40 hours, I can honestly say that they made my day better yesterday and they made my day better today. I don’t think it is possible to expect more or receive more from such a service. Why were they good today, I hear you ask? Well, after today’s treatment, chemotherapy treatment, that I now do not need to have for another 17 days, I ventured to the ground floor where the centre is located with my friend Zeb, and played with some scarves. Trust me, it proved to be more fun than it sounds.
As with actual hair, I am beginning to learn that there are several things a woman can do to make themselves feel more attractive when they do not have hair. Prior to My Myeloma, I was also preoccupied with looking more attractive, so why should this be any different? As I said yesterday, My Myeloma does not define me. My vanity on the other hand….. (FYI, pre diagnosis, I may have had an addiction to 25+ weekly pints , which I see now was something of a hindrance in my quest for long lasting sexiness.)
I have already listed how I plan to look more attractive post hair, so do not fear, I have no desire to participate in any form of regurgitation right now. Just rest assured, I have plans now. I feel some of my control coming back. I know I will lose it again, but for the time being, I have hold of some of the reigns. That includes attempting to not think about what is happening on my head until at least Sunday. It’s a sanity test.
So, in the interests of not regurgitating and preventing further insomnia, below are some photographs of the scarf fitting session. Warning! I will not have hair when I attempt to rock this look for you next, I need to buy some decent scarves, for I am not really a pink scarf sort of girl, oh, and I have already forgotten the tying techniques. I am sure that as this time approaches, I will play my damsel card and all will work it itself out in the end. Thanks to George on Wednesday, I have also started seriously dreaming about the turban. I can make a turban sexy. I am ‘hawt!’ Make no mistake of that fact you Fucking Myeloma. Make no mistake.
Best wishes, EJB