Hippy Hippy Shake

Earlier this week, I went to bed one evening with a new pain in my right hip. The following morning, when I awoke, my mobility in said hip and thus leg had significantly reduced and the pain had increased dramatically. Understandably, I am conscious and ever aware of changes like this to my body, and this one frightened me. In my mind, the possibilities were endless, in the worst case, it meant that there had been a further deterioration in my bones and that my treatment is failing. Another weakness and another lesion. Best case, I had pulled a muscle because I am still learning my limits.

So, Tuesday morning, I hobbled, struggled, into the Clinic and waited to see the Doctor. I did not see the Doctor, but was happy to experiment with my favourite muscle relaxant with all my medical training, with the belief that if the pain reduced with the drugs, all would be well. It improved slightly overnight and by Wednesday, I was convinced I had just pulled a muscle because realistically, after 6 plus weeks in this state, I have probably forgotten how to walk properly. On Wednesday, I met with my Favourite Doctor and was told that I needed to have a precautionary x-ray on my hip, to rule out my worst case scenario or any potential damage caused by my steroids. Why would my medication damage my hip? Another bloody x-ray. Another bloody worry. On Thursday, I had my x-ray. I confirmed once again that I was not pregnant, lay horizontally on a metal slab and jiggled my hips. Twice. I then spent the rest of the day staring at my phone waiting for the results. There was no call. Today, which is Friday, I bit the bullet and called my Favourite Doctor.

[Inhale]

No serious concerns. No more lesions. No bone deterioration.

[Exhale]

I need days like today. I need to hear news like this because despite the fact I am losing my hair, the fact that there is no further deterioration means my drugs are working. It may even mean that I am starting to get better and this is indeed something to be thankful for. Do you know what the best thing about my x-ray was? The thing that made me smile yesterday? I had to lie down on that metal slab. I had to do it twice and I had to jiggle my hips, twice. I then got back up again. Unaided. Twice. This could just mean that my medication is working. Prior to yesterday, I had not been able to lie flat since the 20 August, and the 20 August was My Worst Pain Day. So let me repeat, yesterday, I got up off that metal slab, not once, but twice. Twice.

Must not get too excited. Next week, I have my follow up appointment for the operation on my vertebrae; this is the next big hurdle for my mobility and I am preoccupied with what I am going to hear. My fingers are crossed and I’d cross the toes if I could too. For today though, I am going to sit on the sofa for a few more minutes and smugly remember how yesterday, I was able to sit up from a metal slab, unaided, with a minimal amount of pain, not once, but twice.

Oh, and I tried to get a proper gown shot for you again, but I am afraid you are going to have to make do with this. I promise to try harder next time.

EJB x

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