Both Ways

To My Dear Friends and Family,

There have been several occasions since my diagnosis when I have paid tribute to you all for the support and consideration you have shown and I know, will continue to show as I continue with my battle against My Myeloma. I would not have got this far without you and I know that I will not be able to continue as I have, without your continued and unwavering support and love. Each of you, and I know you know who you are, make me get up everyday and battle this. All of you make me want to survive and beat this. All of you, make me know that my life is worth living. All of you, make my life worth living. You always have, I just never knew it, because until the dreaded diagnosis, I never had any reason to question my own mortality or question why any of you would want to be friends with a girl like me.

Earlier this week, I said that My Myeloma does not define me. It doesn’t. By the same token, My Myeloma cannot begin to define my relationships. Each of you, day by day, hour by hour, are supporting me through the treatment, asking me and talking me through the highs and the inevitable lows. I know you are worried and you want me to get better and and I know you all want me to be okay. If this was not happening to me, and it was happening to one of you, I would behave in exactly the same way and this fact makes me proud. The way you are all rallying around me, makes me proud to call you my friends.

I am not foolish. I know I have cancer and an increased mortality rate, facts that unfortunately are not going to go away for a while, and thus I acknowledge that I will continue to need you more than I have ever done before… I however, need you to know that I am here for you as I have always been. This works both ways.

I will continue being what I have always been and holding the roles that I have always had, and that is being a Daughter, a Little Sister and a Friend. This works both ways.

As you are here for me, I am here for you. I love you and my loyalty and support is steadfast. This works both ways. It’s just like it has always been, although I do admit that I never, ever, ever would have said this, let alone written it down on the worldwide web (I genuinely fear that my heart of stone is now long gone).

In spite of what is going on inside my body, I am still the person you can contact to shout, rant, cry, whinge, bitch and moan at. My Myeloma should not be a consideration. I am on the other end of a phone, or sitting in my flat, ready to hear about your days and listen to you talk to me about your lives. Good and bad. If you get drunk and you feel anxious, I am here for you to talk to. If your boss is being an arse and you feel perturbed, I am here for you to talk to. Feel like you are falling in or out of love? I am here for you to talk to. Not sure how to get that bread to rise? I am here for you to talk to. Don’t like what’s on at the nearest multiplex? I am here for you to talk to. Or if you just fancy a cup of tea or a pint, then I am here for you to talk to. This works both ways.

My Myeloma cannot define us. The only difference now is that I may actually be able to keep a secret… Oh, and I have a teeny bit more time on my hands.

So there you have it, my beautiful, true friends. This works both ways.

Much love,
Emma x


One thought on “Both Ways

  1. Linda Jones says:

    Emma Jones……We Love you so much. Xx

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