I have decided that there must be rules, that I must have rules, in order to protect my brain from maudlin thoughts and ultimately depression. I am fairly certain am not depressed, but I do occasionally succumb to bad thoughts. I did this before my diagnosis, now however, these thoughts are accompanied by tears and thoughts of my impending death. I think you’ll agree that self preservation is necessary. Despite the mood altering steroids, I can, to some extent control this… So, here are My Rules:
1/ Get dressed. Even if it is for an hour, I must have a distinction between day and night. I may not get dressed until gone midday (14:00hrs), but get dressed with make up and a brush of the hair, whilst I have it, is a must.
2/ Wash. A person really does have to have clean bits.
3/ No duvet in the day. If I must lie down/sleep, I should use a blanket. I have definitely never broken this rule. This leads me to my next rule.
4/ Make bed. It just makes my room look nicer and bigger..
5/ Eat. Must ensure that I have three square meals a day. It adds structure and the planning is good for the mind.
6/ Leave bedroom. Even when I am on Lockdown, I should try and leave my room for at least two hours a day. On Sunday, I was a crazy party animal and didn’t get ‘in’ until 23:30hrs. My lounge/kitchen was that appealing.
7/ Voice bad thoughts. Burden members of the Support Network with talk of failed treatment, premature death and no babies. It’s really fair to them to have to deal with it.
8/ Apologise for number 7.
9/ Read the paper. Basically, keep abreast of what is going on in the outside world, it ensures that this time is not lost. For me, this also includes reading my three film magazines a month plus the Guardian’s Film section, because that is as important as the news. Seriously.
10/ Don’t forget about cultural endeavours. Pre My Myeloma, I was a culture vulture. I sampled a bit of everything, but I am not smart enough yet to have developed preferences. In spite of my attention span and limited mobility, the exploration of culture must continue. My brain has to continue to think. Now it is just flat based fun. So, new films. Must watch films I have never seen before. Must read books, starting with the book on the 1920s. At least this way, I can see and learn about others living their lives whilst mine is on hold.