The Cost Of Cancer

Once you have processed your diagnosis and your treatment, it is unfortunately necessary for one to deal with the life admin. Despite being stuck in this inexplicable twilight and having to come to terms with a diagnosis and prognosis, which is beyond unfathomable, I have had to learn that life goes on. Everything that existed before, continues to tick over. Bills, pay, money, living costs; these things still continue even though you have cancer, and they have to be managed because you hope at some point, having a bad credit rating will matter again.

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I have probably spent three months with my head stuck in the sand about much of this. Coming to terms with My Myeloma was enough to manage, without me beginning to consider how I could and can financially survive, maintaining my much needed level of comfort, whilst trying to survive within this bubble of cancer. I am now at a point where I have to deal with my finances. Cancer costs, in more ways than one.

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Thankfully, I am in a better situation than most. I am an employee, and my employer does take care of people like me and even others, who could do with a healthy dose of humble pie. Last week I had an occupational health referral and the lady on the other end of the phone was most perturbed, to begin with, about me continuing to do work when I feel able to do so. It did not take me long to get across the importance and weight my work means to me in my life. Continuing with some normality, for somebody who has had a job since they were 11 years old. In those early years, staking shelves really was a hoot. Continuing my work is not just about my sanity, it is also about me, continuing to give back and support those I respect. Despite me winning her over, or appearing to win her over, there is still a high probability that in the new year, I will move onto half pay. Six months really can fly when you are not having fun. I live in Dalston and I am a civil servant. Half pay will cover my rent and approximately two third of my bills. That’s it. It will not cover my food, my online entertainment services and my occasional acts of generosity. It would be a fair assessment to say that I have discovered Ocado and high end branded teabags at the wrong point in my life.

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Ever the pragmatist, this last week, I have started to investigate what Government funds are available to me. Once again, Macmillan Cancer Support have shown their worth in this area. For somebody who has never claimed any benefits, it looks and reads like a whole load of gobbledegook. I suspect I work in the right Government department, because the Department of Work and Pensions would be lost on me. I am surprised so many people are actually in receipt of benefits. The forms are endless. Take the Disability Living Allowance, the form, for which I could get Β£20 per week, is 42 pages long and has to be accompanied by evidence that I am sick and a list of things that I can and cannot do including the number of meals I can cook myself in a week. Crucially, microwaveable meals do not count as cooking. Phew. I am also going to apply for a Blue Parking Badge, just to save my legs and back on the occasions when I am am able to go to a shop and somebody has a car. Then the worst case scenario, is applying for Housing Benefit, if I do end up on half pay. I haven’t even begun to look at that form yet. Thank goodness for the welfare state.

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When I was first diagnosed, I thought I would end up saving money. In reality,this has not happened. I took a slight pay cut because I am not able to do some add on work, and in these dark times, sometimes, just sometimes, I just need a little pick me up. Some lipstick, some food or a taxi. Just things to make my life easier and keep me sane. I imagine these little perks will have to stop in 2013.

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Everything costs. Everything.

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Just keep paying your taxes people, because out there, there are some people like me, who actually need the help, and I am not even thinking about the NHS right now although clearly, I need that little beauty too.

EJB x

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