It’s Christmas Day. I made it to Christmas Day. I am awake and ready to spend the day with my family. In. Your. Face. Myeloma. You could not take it away from me.
I had considered doing a video message for you all, but seeing as it is Christmas and you are all likely to get lots of gifts already today, I thought the gift of seeing the laughter behind my eyes too much. One can have too much of a good thing. I will save that treat for a rainy day in January when today is but a memory, and the fact I have a lifelong cancer won’t matter so much.
The last five days have been tough. Real tough. Tougher than my previous cycles and the fault for that belongs to Christmas. I have and will continue to try my hardest to pretend that this is just a normal Christmas, but it’s not. Everybody knows it is not. I have cancer. My Myeloma is not the elephant in the room, because I am confronting it at every moment of the day. As I lay in bed, hoping for my Christmas wish to come true, every time I closed my eyes or it was silent, the words ‘cancer, myeloma and death’ would appear in my head. That really is not the spirit of Christmas, at least not the one Hollywood has taught me. I know though that there are only so many tears I want to spend thinking about it, because it is indeed Christmas and I do want to enjoy myself and spread the Christmas cheer. Take today’s outfit for example, I look like a postmodern Christmas tree and that my friends is on purpose.
I want to tell you all the things I have learnt this year; and advise those not as blessed as me, how to live their lives better, much like the Queen will at 15:00hrs today. Unfortunately, I do not think that Santa brought me enough words for that and this blog is time bound. Thus, because it is Christmas Day, I will warm your heartstrings and in the words of Ebenezer Scrooge, say “it’s true wherever you find love it feels like Christmas, it feels like Christmas, it feels like Christmas, it feels like Christmas” goddammit.
Now, us Jones and James Cottam Flooring are going to try and have a good time. We have two Christmas trees… which says it all. We are the bomb.
Merry Christmas to one and all, and to my friends and family, I love you long time.