I am home now and I am currently experiencing the power of the cyclophosphamide. It’s powerful stuff. Prior to this, I have had one type of chemotherapy. This feeling is new. I always expected new side effects, but I realised in the clinic that I was receiving something relatively strong (not megatron strong mind) when I was given my drugs. In addition to the normal anti-sickness, I have another anti-sickness pill. I also have pills to protect my bladder. Yay. They have given me some spares of the latter in case I do not digest them because of mouth poo. Thoughtful.


I do not feel well. That is a fact and one that I expected. I know there is a purpose to this and it is only temporary, and I shall keep telling myself this if in fact the vomit does come. I am also waiting for blood in my urine, which I am told may also happen.

I am taking all the precautions. I am drinking and peeing when required. I ask you this though, try drinking 2-3 litres of water when you feel nauseous and see how far you get. It’s a struggle, but one I have experience before and one I got told off for not doing. I am putting a lot of faith in the powers of squash right now.

So, this is it. I’ve fallen off the wagon at speed. If it turns out that I do have to vomit, I will do it safe in the knowledge that some good will come out of it. It’s like riding a bike with stabilisers before you can cycle on two wheels. My two wheels is the transplant.

Roll on the transplant. I can take it. I think.

Oh, in case you were wondering just how ill I feel, take a peek at this. Loved ones, prepare yourselves, I’ll look so much worse when I am in for the Megatron.



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2 thoughts on “Cyclophosphamide

  1. dear emma,

    this reminds me of an expression an elderly uncle used when trying to say he totally understood how someone who had been on a bender with him felt the next morning; “you look like i feel – rode hard and put away wet”. i think that’s absolutely not appropriate to say to a young lady whose clearly feels miserable. but i hope it made you giggle. and i do hope you are feeling much better soon. p.s. – seems to me that the name of that awful chemo could be shortened to “cyclops” – ugh.

  2. Helen says:

    Ugh, yes it’s horrible isn’t it? You sound well-armed, I hadn’t realised how bad it would be and it took me unawares (think I was fairly blasé about chemo by then but as you said, it’s a new beast this one). Sounds like generally you’re less vomit-prone then I am but FYI: I was sick badly all during the night, a bit the next day, but it stopped by the following afternoon. Think Ondansetron was the best anti-sickness if I remember rightly. Just in case you find the same: I also had a totally racing mind/ insomnia, quite trippy. In the evening I talkfronton-stop and then at night I ended up having to find a friend still awake in the US to WhatsApp with, was a really odd feeling. Anyway, well done for another milestone and sorry it’s grim but IT DOES PASS. 🙂

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