So, there we have it, I have had the Megatron, formally known as Melphalan. It has actually started. I have said it three times today, and thought it a few times more; there is no going back now. After six months of planning and waiting, I am here. I am scared, but today, my main emotion is excitement. Getting the Melphalan in me, is my starting point. Thank fuck for that. Finally.

At 13:56hrs today, a big old bag of the toxin, made its way through my PICC line, after an anti-sickness, some steroids and saline. This was followed by another trickle of saline. Easy peasy, right? Well, I guess for that, and the three anti sickness drugs I have in my possession, time will tell…


On the side effects side of things, my body is behaving the way I was told it would behave. I feel okay. Yes, ‘okay’ is the right word, well, maybe a few notches under ‘okay’. I am tired, sure, I have had a busy day after all, and I have been out this evening looking at the healthy people on Tottenham Court road whilst eating pizza and drinking as much fizzy water as I can because my stomach decides that it cannot take it anymore. I have not been able to be as attentive to my phone and social media as I wold have liked, and I have only checked my Blackberry once. I have managed to see some friends in a place that was not my hotel room, because the Medically Trained People advised me to leave my half way house, if I could. I am not pooing out my immune system yet, nor am I vomiting my guts out. Give that time.

I am aware that I had many challenges today, I do not need to spell that out, but I can confirm that my biggest challenge looked something like this:


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For 35 minutes as the Megatron entered by body, I sat on my adjustable chair and made my way through not one, not two, not even three, but four orange Calypsos. It is a well established fact that I like ice lollies, but not that much. My initial approach had to be adapted approximately twenty minutes in, when I could no longer place the entire icicle in my mouth to suck because my jaw started to lock, and had to resort to licking the tip. Boys, take note. I tried to be graceful, but alas, the other patients thought it was funny (they had been through it before), one challenged me to see how many I could get through and I realised that I cannot eat with ice in my mouth, especially to strangers.*

And that was it. Chemo in. I am going to lose my hair now. I am going to get sick. And, I knew it when I woke up this morning after a terrible nights sleep, I knew something I was not ready to say until that point… Bring. It. On.

Bring it on. I can take it.


* The record in the Ambulatory Care for the number of ice lollies in a single session by the way, is nine. I think they had a sweet tooth.

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2 thoughts on “Megatron

  1. Terri J says:

    Good girl! Glad to see you eating ice pops. That will help alot. When you get your stem cells see what you think the process smells like. We were in the room when my daughter got hers. They told us it would smell like creamed corn but I thought more like garlic. Tomorrow will be day 1 of the rest of your life. Keep fighting . Hope things don’t get to shitty. HaHa

  2. Cheerleaders are lined up and have pom-poms in hand…. sis boom bah, sis boom bah… we are the cheery bunch, we don’t have lunch, we just wait for news of the Bones, who we’ve just heard has eaten four cones… rah, rah, rah!!!

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