Ho Ho Ho. Can I get an echo? Yes I can, Ho Ho Ho. Merry Christmas.
Today is Christmas Day. Today is my second Christmas Day with My Myeloma, and although I am still sitting in the dark, in my clammy, night sweat riddled pyjamas, with a sore throat, a blocked nose, maybe moderately depressed, having had a broken night’s sleep, I can say hands down, that I feel much better than I did 365 days ago. I will need to nap later, and the reason for that is a whole other blog, but I do not anticipate any steroid crashing today, one needs to be on steroids for that, and so, I know that this year will be better. I just reread my blogs from last year, and I know it will be better. That said, myeloma still has the ability to make Christmas feel important. It is important for everybody of course, but in my strange, abnormally large head, myeloma brings pressure at Christmas. Pressure and bad thoughts.
For me, like the birthday now, Christmas Day, is a countdown in reverse, always accompanied with the thought of ‘how many of these do I have left? It’s my second now, so if the stats are right, I get eight more, right?’ I try not to believe that of course. I do not think I have ever done anything really wrong to warrant the naughty list, and Santa Claus is not a cruel man. The stats are wrong. At least, that is what I tell myself to get through the day. Nobody wants Christmas to be a myeloma downer. Myeloma has taken away enough already. Christmas should be FUN. MEGA FUN. Myeloma does take away some of my pre-Christmas fun, because in the back of my head, in addition to feeling the presence of the grim reaper, I know that something could go wrong with my body, this ruining Christmas for everybody on this universe, so I have spent much of the last month begging my body to get me to the 25th December without any glitches. I managed to get today with antibiotics, but that is better than the alternatives my mind can create. It is also better than the alternatives that happen to people with myeloma all over this fair land. Christmas is for loved ones and hospital love is not quite the same as family love is it?
And so, because I have a lot to be thankful for on this Christmas + 2, what with being well and in remission and all, I am going to attempt to not think about myeloma again today. It has had its time in my head today. After all, what is the point of worrying about what is going to happen to tomorrow, today, especially when today is the day after the night before when Santa Claus came down the chimney. I am going the rest of the day thinking about my family, the immediate mostly, all the Telfer’s or whatever they are called now in the North, the Jones’s in the South, my friends all over the place, my presents and my gut. That sounds like a good day.
Christmas is about the good sort of sentimentality, not the bad sort.
Must dash now, I have children waiting. So, without further adieu, I wish you all a very merry and healthy Christmas.
Much love and all that jazz,