I spent most of my Sunday wondering why I was so tired and then getting mad that I was so tired, before I went straight back and wondered why I was tired. In itself, that process is an episode in exhaustion. The exhaustion of which I speak is relative. It compares not to the Steroid Crash, but remains the worst of what I experience during this volume. It
In my mind, there was no reason for the exhaustion, after all, I am being very sensible and adhering to my rule of having a limited social life with so many early nights that I am becoming predictable. Predictable and reliable that is me. I am all about establishing a regime. Even the Costa Coffee Man asks me about my regime. The Regime permits me to live a reasonable life and secondly, judge when something is going wrong. I think I am getting good at it. At least, I was last week anyway.
Last week, I wanted to punch the air when I realised that I had done a 31 hour week, with three evenings of sensible socialising and a day at the hospital. That is real progress. I am with me everyday, so it is difficult to see when I am getting stronger, but even I could see that by close of play Friday, I had achieved something special. I was even told I had more colour on my face, so, get me and my makeup skillz.
In order to achieve such jubilation, I do have to very carefully balance what I can and cannot do. Laziness has to planned. Not seeing my friends has to be planned. I have to plan it all. Last weekend, I had planned to say relax, because my week had been so jammed packed with goodness. Some would say I had written my weekend off, but that would only be the mean people.
Whilst I had planned for rest with my family, I did not plan for Velcade fatigue. When I realised why I was so tired on Sunday afternoon, I was relieved and annoyed in equal measure. I get to see the pattern now, being sensible allows me that luxury. Being sensible does not allow me the luxury of not having a day of tiredness once a fortnight. The reminder.
Being sensible, however, does mean that I can now plan for it. And plan for it I shall. After all, if this is the best I am likely to expect, then I probably should not dwell on it.
P.S. In terms of the actions put in place to mitigate the risks associated with another pattern I identified last month, I am happy to confirm that they are working.